“Make the moment vital and
worth living …… do not let it slip away unnoticed and unused”

Martha Graham

Counselling and Mindfulness based Therapy for Couples

Couples come for counselling for many different reasons, usually when they feel they have reached a point when they are unable to address the issues between themselves or they have decided to separate and are looking for the support of a third party to enable them to do so in a way that is adult, non-reactive and kinder for all involved.

The breakdown of intimate relationships often generates a number of intense feelings from anger, distress, numbing out, sadness, guilt and shame. Our own defensive routines often trigger a set of characteristic and automatic coping mechanisms in our partner, leading to further relationship breakdown, a deterioration in communication and gridlock.

My role as couple’s counsellor is to support you to explore your relationship in a safe, sensitive and non judgmental way, helping you to develop the skills and resilience to remain present and non-reactive, open, receptive and respectful.

Our work will help you to develop the awareness to understand the dynamics at play that have brought you to this point and the ways in which you have both contributed to the relationship breakdown. This is not to apportion blame but to enable you to assume personal responsibility, develop a sense of compassion for yourself and your partner and to explore and understand the factors that have prevented you from achieving your relationship potential.

The initial focus of the work may relate to a single issue though often relates to a number of underlying reasons for the relationship difficulty. These may include:

  • Inability to communicate
  • Unable to meet individual needs
  • Issues of role and control
  • Incompatibility
  • The loss of intimacy
  • Conflict and Anger
  • When childhood wounds play out in
    the relationship
  • Growing apart and estrangement
  • Balancing work, family and
  • Affairs
  • Finding new meaning when the
    children have left home
  • The loss of a child
  • Coping with illness
  • Ageing and re-defining the
  • Separation, divorce and the children

Our first session together serves as a mutual assessment session. This will include an exploration into the joint commitment to the relationship and to the commitment to the counselling process. We will work collaboratively and the number of sessions required and frequency will be explored together.

We all have different styles of understanding and relating to experience. My way of working integrates Mindfulness based approaches (MBCT and MBSR) and the Humanistic models of Gestalt, Psychosynthesis and body orientated methods.

My understanding of the psychology of relationships and group dynamics has also been greatly influenced by FIRO Theory, together with my training in Contextual Couple’s Counselling.

Back to counselling


Tel: 01273 473281  -  Email: deborah@themindfulorg.co.uk

Mindfulness Courses, Mindfulness & Relationships Coaching, Counselling.
East Grinstead, West Sussex and Lewes, East Sussex

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